Sailing 2010

In September 2010 scientists ventured a brave and spectacular experiment. In a pioneering self-experiment data for a study of the phenomenon “coffee-ride” were supposed to be collected. In order to prevent trouble with the authorities the dangerous acquisition of data was presented as annual group outing.

The study subjects met at Bielefeld main station in order to go by train to Rahden, the starting point of the field study. Rahden is located close to the Dümmer Lake and was carefully chosen due to its rurality and, therefore, its predestination for the development of the culture of the vulgar coffee-ride.

Sailing

Also the vehicle (the Moorhof-Express) which met the study subjects at the station complied slavishly with the experiment conditions und consisted of two wagons under which seats the second decisive component of the experimental set-up was located. The first amazing results occurred which included vociferous singing of popular German traditional songs.

The second and generally as cultural or study section of a coffee-ride termed part of the experiment which in this case manifested in a sailing trip on the Dümmer Lake followed the extensive ride through idyllic agricultural affected village communities. Already here the first heavier effects of the experiment showed up especially with the female subjects as well as a worrying dynamic in the group when things of obviously dubious character appeared and were studied in a very non-scientific manner.

Sailing
Sailing
Sailing
Sailing

Due to this worrying development the interest in the nature scenery of the flat lake diminished in a lamentable manner and continued when afterwards the subjects drove around so long with the playground equipment which was hardly suitable for their age. So they arrived too late at the meeting with the Moorhof Express. In summary a rapid decrease in respectability and sincerity with a simultaneously drastic increase of almost infantile cheerfulness was established.

Sailing
Sailing
Sailing
Sailing
Sailing

Science agrees on the fact that when making a coffee-ride besides a cultural part ideally also a phase of an athletic competition belongs. In the present study this field was represented by the so-called Moorbock-shooting. Here a wooden target in shape of a goat which was fixed in several metres height had to be shot down.

Sailing

Many subjects showed already much heavier influences than suspected when they acted against the experimental set-up and – instead as specified to target on the middle of the goat – intended to shoot off the extremities of the target. A female subject put an end to this frightening development when she hit the mark in the correct and required technique. This praiseworthy performance was honoured with a medal and a certificate before returning to the station.

Sailing
Sailing
Sailing

Fortunately beyond the apparently remarkably effective coffee-ride environment almost all scientists found back to their usual respectability.

Finally it should be mentioned that nobody suffered remaining damages; although the study contributed to receive a profound knowledge of the phenomenon “coffee-ride” it was decided unanimously not to publish these explosive data.

Author: Jasmin Hübner
Translation: Ulrike Schalk